Posted by the writer on Feb 26, 2010 in
heart Now is one of those times when I do not know what I am feeling. There seems to be a myriad of feelings in a jumbo cocktail and it is of all tastes at the same time.
I believe myself to be a good judge of character and yet I always repeat the same mistake of trusting the wrong person. Maybe, trust is something which should not be given easily and yet I’d always believe in the goodness of people before they’d proven that they are actually not to be trusted. Even though the instances of misplaced trust have been few and far in between, they hurt and each incident hurt deeply.
Some people are unable to trust others (even themselves) all their lives. Call me naive but I find living without trust a state worse than death. What is the point of being alive when you are constantly on your guard against others and there is absolutely no one you can trust?
The same thing with love. Love with your all heart. Love not for any reason. There is no because in love. Love changes. Love changes always for the better, not for the worse. In the latter case, it was not love.
Many things can camouflage love or masquerade as love. And how do we know it is love? We know because our hearts know. There is no explanation for love.
Love at first sight. How perfect. How sweet. A miracle. But love changes and you know how to accept these changes when you know love.
Love and trust are partners. They are never without each other. A person who cannot trust another can never love. A person who cannot love can never trust.
Sometimes I get tired. But I never give up. Perhaps I am too optimistic or naive. For there are people who’d never know love or trust.
Sadly, people who do not know how to love or trust will never be able to accept the love or trust of others. And people who are unable to accept the love or trust of others will never know love or trust.
Listen to what your heart says. Open it to others. Learn to live life and not let the weight of history pull you into its grave.
Even the fortune teller thinks I am too trusting by nature. So be it. I have no sky high ambitions. I have no wish to trample on others just to achieve my goals. I am happy the way I am and there is no harm bringing more love and trust into this world.
If only things were this easy. 24th February is the birthday of someone who mean a lot to me. I want things back to the way it was. But that is impossible. Trust is like a piece of glass. It can never the same once you break it. Maybe with a bit of magic, a little miracle, it could. But wishful thinking can never get things done.
Almost all the important people in my life are born on the 24th. Amazing.
Posted by the writer on Feb 12, 2010 in
heart And I just realised that you love me more than I love you.
Posted by the writer on Feb 11, 2010 in
general 
The last trip back to Macau, we went by chartered jet instead of the commercial because it was too late to get tickets and it’d be foolish to pay for first class. Not sure why but Jetquay along with most of the private jets had shifted to the CIP terminal which is together with the rest of the terminals instead of being at the old Seletar Airport. And getting to the CIP was a journey itself, the terminal being so tucked away in the middle of nowhere.
The service provided by the ground staff was excellent as usual, as were the f&b. I stuffed myself silly with all the sugar cookies again and, for the umpteen time, attempted understand why they always serve cheap instant noodles.
It is always good to fly private/chartered because no one (absolutely NO ONE) will bother you with all the standard ‘airline’ advisories. And the f&b is always so much better. But for one thing…smoking is allowed and I’m a non-smoker!
Lots more photos but I can’t post them up here. It’s all on Facebook. 
We had lots of fun selecting tidbits and fresh fruits before getting the fluffy pillows, blankets and warm slippers. And then while some folks slept, I was happily surfing the net.
Posted by the writer on Feb 9, 2010 in
general Each of us has a set of the following:
Our parents’ housekeys (that’s two different houses)
The family housekeys
His housekeys
My housekeys
Our office keys (that’s two different offices)
and we are going to add on…our housekeys…that makes it 6 different sets of keys per person. *gulpz* oh, and the cars keys…
In addition, the keys which we don’t carry around:
Hong Kong housekeys
Macau housekeys
Bangkok housekeys
Aussie housekeys
L.A. housekeys
=_=
11th anniversary is just round the corner…time flies…and we’ve known each other since forever…
Posted by the writer on Feb 8, 2010 in
general I’m so dead. I can’t make it in time for convocation this year. Ohmygawd!
I need to complete my dissertation asap and NOT A SINGLE WORD has been written so far. -_-
To help me focus, I’ve decided that staying ALONE in Pattaya would be wise. No distraction except for the beach/sea. I think 10 weeks would be sufficient unless I decided to pick up some sea sports…oops!
So now, it’s a choice between staying in the apartment or at the resort. Resort means I get full meals…apartment means I need to cook or eat out…Resort means more distraction as there are more chances to interact with holiday makers hahaha!…apartment has got 100% privacy and I can full concentrate or just laze off oops!…Resort means got housekeeper to clean…apartment means I need to do housework -_-”"”
Awww…let’s think this over during CNY…
Posted by the writer on Feb 6, 2010 in
general I’ve always wondered what actually defines the social class…or classes. Money? Status? Authority? Style? Or WHAT?
We were at an opening last night when we met an acquaintance, who is slightly more than that but less than a friend, oh well!, and he asked him a seemingly innocuous question…I mean, IMHO, it was a totally everyday question to ask…”Where is XXX?”
Said acquaintance answered: I didn’t think her fit to attend this.
We: *speechless*
Him (recovering): But I gave you an invite for two. TWO of YOU!
Me: *speechless stare* (like an idiot)
Said acquaintance: She can’t hold a conversation with anyone here. So I didn’t bring her lah!
We: *super speechless*
Later that night, while talking about the opening over some drinks, we decided that this said acquaintance is better off dropped from all the future invite lists. If you think your partner isn’t fit to attend our events, then you don’t meet the grade too.
Sigh. People.
Look, I am absolutely sure that many people would think me ‘unfit’ for a lot of occasions. I am sloppy, hippy, fidgety and I care nothing about fashion. While I can hold a conversation about anything academia or books or current affairs, try talking to me about entertainment, sports, fashion, cars etc and you will get a whole slew of questions seemingly from a toddler. And life isn’t just about arts or culture. Everyone has different interests. I am just fortunate enough that there are more people pretending (and then actually wanting) to know about the arts and thus the conversations are easy to keep going. Even though it does depend on what event you are attending, it does no harm to admit that you know nothing about it but you want to learn. The most important thing in life is about learning. You stop learning, you might as well stop living.
So there.
On a separate incident a couple of months back, we literally bumped into some of his friends, whom he had not seen for quite sometime, at a club. Most of them were girls with their partners and while I have heard about them I’ve never met them in person. Being the meticulous person he is, he did a scan and a headcount and apparently found one missing. And here goes the conversation.
Him: Hey, one of the monkeys is missing. What happened to her?
Silence.
Friend1 (F1): Hmm…ask Friend 2 (F2) lah.
F2 (almost whispering): Friend 3 (F3) isn’t happy about her.
Him: Quarreled?
F2: No. F3 caught her flirting with F3’s bf.
Him: Oh. But you monkeys all flirt a lot mah! Haha.
Me: *you are so done for it this time! kind of look*
F1: Different lah.
F2: Ya, this time it was different. You know she always changes workplace. So that time, F3 introduced her then bf to her so that the bf could help bring more clients to her new workplace mah. Then, one day, F3 went there to look for her bf and found her sitting on his lap…and the two enjoying themselves.
Him: But she has always been sitting on people’s lap. You girls too!
Me: *completely murderous look*
Me (I couldn’t help it!): Sluts.
Oops!
Him: *glares*
F1: But we don’t sit on our friends’ bfs laps! Don’t worry okay!
F2: Ya lor. So F3 was very angry.
Him: So F3 confronted her?
F2: No. She later found out that she also borrowed a big sum of money from the bf. So F3 broke off with the bf lah.
Him: Then?
F1: Aiya, over already. But just in case now we don’t ask her when we go out with our partners. Anyway, she is no longer working too and she has found someone to mull her depression over with.
Me: eh, I think we should get going…
I think I know who the missing monkey is. Tsk tsk.
Posted by the writer on Feb 3, 2010 in
funny I am awfully outdated. I mean, I’ve been to this site just to check up on some really weird urban slang that the youngsters have been using in their SMSes which left me totally bewildered but I’ve not exactly been a fan of it to stay long enough on the site and explore…until today…when a Facebook friend started this thingee of having everyone checking up their first names and then posting the answers (funnily ones, of course) on Facebook.
Gosh, the laughter this created…madness!
Without revealing the first names, here goes mine:
“Possibly one of the sexiest girls on the face of the earth. They are so much fun to be around, But, a downside is that they are too fine for you. Usually not skanks or hoes have tons of friends and are in middle class families. Has friends that will destroy people that want to harm her. Gets hit on a lot by guys isn’t stuck up or a bitch, although they tend to have a bitchy friend or two.”
“One who is naturally equited with the tools and machinary to pull off a succesful and satisfactory rape of an unsuspecting victim.”
“has multiple boys fighting over her. will have very cute red ginger babies. has her own stripper theme song. likes to lick girls. popular among taken men. is very gropy. tries to undress anyone she can get her hands on. likes shark boys. doesnt like it when you push hard.”
“stays fresca”
“a strange, endangered species that originated from easter island. They are often short and have an addiction to vitamins. They tend to chase flying squirrels all day. They also love a mixed breed of dog called a “Chiwewe“.”
“queen, a most high beautiful woman, none like her, a queen that stands out among all others smart, intelligent talented”
Here goes someone’s:
“Probably the best looking person ever. He is smart and daring. He also gets all of the ladies. He was the first billionnaire president of the world. He also spells shit however he wants so don’t correct him.He is tight with chuck norris, and hes gods other son. In essence he is t3h hax0rs.”
“The sexiest guy that all the girls love and dream about.He is great at sex (possibly the best). Everybody loves him.With the biggest dick ever.”
“a person who cares a lot for those he loves. in addition, he is smart, funny, nice (although debatable at times ) very good looking, and quite the determined character.”
“The act of taking a fire extinguisher and shoving in a persons anal cavity, pulling pin and turning on with no regrets, and while jizzing in someones nose.”
And just to spice things up and make it a little crazier, we went for our Facebook nicknames.
Here’s mine:
“Red Grover. Laughs when tickled unless batteries are dead.”
And someone’s:
“A furry blue monster from Sesame Street who takes out his sexual frustration on baked goods.”
Common stuff between the first name and nick for mine is RED.
For someone’s is SEX.
Laugh till the cow comes home…but where’s the cow? Was there even one in the first place? But wait…what’s a cow? Shall we check urbandictionary.com for it? NOOOO!!! Wait. YESSSS!
A cow as defined by the urbandictionary.com is:
“Someone who blocks the aisles in a grocery store with their massive girth.”
“The word ‘cow’ is also a moderately offensive insult in the United Kingdom towards a woman who is supremely unpleasant.”
HAHAHAHA!
And while the madness is going on…like forever, I took the opportunity to check up the following as well.
Some idiot going by the nickname of XXX has been a really fun target for amusement lately. (A cause of heartache in the past but that was over…I don’t like remembering sad stuff anyway.) So what exactly is the XXX?
“A control freak. A rather nasty, manipulative, self appointed queen for all events relating to anything in her limited, but tightly-reigned little world.”
“Another word for Vagina or Pussy”
“A Female To own One’s heart”
And just for additional fun, the real first name of the said XXX reveals the following from urbandictionary.com:
“1) Intellectually attractive woman.
2) Physically attractive woman.
3) Emotonally attractive woman.
4) Attractivve in all 3 major ways, yet not you are condemned to be ‘just friends‘”
“A sweet girl with a lot of heart.”
“Fellatio. To preform an orally sexual acts”
“A slang name for cannabis, originating in the South-East of England”
“Alternative word for female genitailia.”
“A woman’s private parts.”
There are more definitions to each word looked up but I only selected the ones which really stood out. Just to be really nasty and fun…notice that the nick of XXX and the real first name is really suitable? Well, definitely not intellectually attractive as the said person could not even spell properly and has no general knowledge to say of. I’d give some plus points for being physically attractive but that’d depends if you are looking at just street level attractiveness or something like a classy kind of attractiveness cos that person has no class at all. I should think emotionally attractive for that person is good cos managed to keep me well entertained. Ah well, the common integral between the nick and first name is heart and pussy. So suitable! (said person by the way is a cow queen too!)
So what is yours?
p/s- I tried on my brother’s name and this turns up:
“A boy who isn’t responsible and goes around sleeping with every girl possible. Usually goes with White chicks and then leaves for others. Been to jail once or twice and is VERY stubborn.”
VERY TRUE! (about the jail + VERY stubborn part – I’m not sure about the white chicks though…probably…)
p/s: p/s: – I tried on an old first name which I used to go by and got a nice result too! Try Nicole!~ LOL
Posted by the writer on Feb 2, 2010 in
general I dreamt of the sea becoming the skies and the next day, the Haiti earthquake happened.
Just over the weekend, I fainted while doing spring cleaning and dreamt of an earthquake. And the next day, we had the China and Indonesia earthquakes.
Let’s not talk about the signs which I saw/felt in previous years.
But this huge ominous feeling that there is going to be another disasterous event on an epic scale is hanging so heavily that sometimes, I find my heartbeat missing.
They say it takes a pure heart to understand the language of nature. I wish I can better understand what nature is telling me.
I need a purer heart…haha!