Posted by the writer on Feb 8, 2010 in
general I’m so dead. I can’t make it in time for convocation this year. Ohmygawd!
I need to complete my dissertation asap and NOT A SINGLE WORD has been written so far. -_-
To help me focus, I’ve decided that staying ALONE in Pattaya would be wise. No distraction except for the beach/sea. I think 10 weeks would be sufficient unless I decided to pick up some sea sports…oops!
So now, it’s a choice between staying in the apartment or at the resort. Resort means I get full meals…apartment means I need to cook or eat out…Resort means more distraction as there are more chances to interact with holiday makers hahaha!…apartment has got 100% privacy and I can full concentrate or just laze off oops!…Resort means got housekeeper to clean…apartment means I need to do housework -_-”"”
Awww…let’s think this over during CNY…
Posted by the writer on Feb 6, 2010 in
general I’ve always wondered what actually defines the social class…or classes. Money? Status? Authority? Style? Or WHAT?
We were at an opening last night when we met an acquaintance, who is slightly more than that but less than a friend, oh well!, and he asked him a seemingly innocuous question…I mean, IMHO, it was a totally everyday question to ask…”Where is XXX?”
Said acquaintance answered: I didn’t think her fit to attend this.
We: *speechless*
Him (recovering): But I gave you an invite for two. TWO of YOU!
Me: *speechless stare* (like an idiot)
Said acquaintance: She can’t hold a conversation with anyone here. So I didn’t bring her lah!
We: *super speechless*
Later that night, while talking about the opening over some drinks, we decided that this said acquaintance is better off dropped from all the future invite lists. If you think your partner isn’t fit to attend our events, then you don’t meet the grade too.
Sigh. People.
Look, I am absolutely sure that many people would think me ‘unfit’ for a lot of occasions. I am sloppy, hippy, fidgety and I care nothing about fashion. While I can hold a conversation about anything academia or books or current affairs, try talking to me about entertainment, sports, fashion, cars etc and you will get a whole slew of questions seemingly from a toddler. And life isn’t just about arts or culture. Everyone has different interests. I am just fortunate enough that there are more people pretending (and then actually wanting) to know about the arts and thus the conversations are easy to keep going. Even though it does depend on what event you are attending, it does no harm to admit that you know nothing about it but you want to learn. The most important thing in life is about learning. You stop learning, you might as well stop living.
So there.
On a separate incident a couple of months back, we literally bumped into some of his friends, whom he had not seen for quite sometime, at a club. Most of them were girls with their partners and while I have heard about them I’ve never met them in person. Being the meticulous person he is, he did a scan and a headcount and apparently found one missing. And here goes the conversation.
Him: Hey, one of the monkeys is missing. What happened to her?
Silence.
Friend1 (F1): Hmm…ask Friend 2 (F2) lah.
F2 (almost whispering): Friend 3 (F3) isn’t happy about her.
Him: Quarreled?
F2: No. F3 caught her flirting with F3’s bf.
Him: Oh. But you monkeys all flirt a lot mah! Haha.
Me: *you are so done for it this time! kind of look*
F1: Different lah.
F2: Ya, this time it was different. You know she always changes workplace. So that time, F3 introduced her then bf to her so that the bf could help bring more clients to her new workplace mah. Then, one day, F3 went there to look for her bf and found her sitting on his lap…and the two enjoying themselves.
Him: But she has always been sitting on people’s lap. You girls too!
Me: *completely murderous look*
Me (I couldn’t help it!): Sluts.
Oops!
Him: *glares*
F1: But we don’t sit on our friends’ bfs laps! Don’t worry okay!
F2: Ya lor. So F3 was very angry.
Him: So F3 confronted her?
F2: No. She later found out that she also borrowed a big sum of money from the bf. So F3 broke off with the bf lah.
Him: Then?
F1: Aiya, over already. But just in case now we don’t ask her when we go out with our partners. Anyway, she is no longer working too and she has found someone to mull her depression over with.
Me: eh, I think we should get going…
I think I know who the missing monkey is. Tsk tsk.
Posted by the writer on Feb 3, 2010 in
funny I am awfully outdated. I mean, I’ve been to this site just to check up on some really weird urban slang that the youngsters have been using in their SMSes which left me totally bewildered but I’ve not exactly been a fan of it to stay long enough on the site and explore…until today…when a Facebook friend started this thingee of having everyone checking up their first names and then posting the answers (funnily ones, of course) on Facebook.
Gosh, the laughter this created…madness!
Without revealing the first names, here goes mine:
“Possibly one of the sexiest girls on the face of the earth. They are so much fun to be around, But, a downside is that they are too fine for you. Usually not skanks or hoes have tons of friends and are in middle class families. Has friends that will destroy people that want to harm her. Gets hit on a lot by guys isn’t stuck up or a bitch, although they tend to have a bitchy friend or two.”
“One who is naturally equited with the tools and machinary to pull off a succesful and satisfactory rape of an unsuspecting victim.”
“has multiple boys fighting over her. will have very cute red ginger babies. has her own stripper theme song. likes to lick girls. popular among taken men. is very gropy. tries to undress anyone she can get her hands on. likes shark boys. doesnt like it when you push hard.”
“stays fresca”
“a strange, endangered species that originated from easter island. They are often short and have an addiction to vitamins. They tend to chase flying squirrels all day. They also love a mixed breed of dog called a “Chiwewe“.”
“queen, a most high beautiful woman, none like her, a queen that stands out among all others smart, intelligent talented”
Here goes someone’s:
“Probably the best looking person ever. He is smart and daring. He also gets all of the ladies. He was the first billionnaire president of the world. He also spells shit however he wants so don’t correct him.He is tight with chuck norris, and hes gods other son. In essence he is t3h hax0rs.”
“The sexiest guy that all the girls love and dream about.He is great at sex (possibly the best). Everybody loves him.With the biggest dick ever.”
“a person who cares a lot for those he loves. in addition, he is smart, funny, nice (although debatable at times ) very good looking, and quite the determined character.”
“The act of taking a fire extinguisher and shoving in a persons anal cavity, pulling pin and turning on with no regrets, and while jizzing in someones nose.”
And just to spice things up and make it a little crazier, we went for our Facebook nicknames.
Here’s mine:
“Red Grover. Laughs when tickled unless batteries are dead.”
And someone’s:
“A furry blue monster from Sesame Street who takes out his sexual frustration on baked goods.”
Common stuff between the first name and nick for mine is RED.
For someone’s is SEX.
Laugh till the cow comes home…but where’s the cow? Was there even one in the first place? But wait…what’s a cow? Shall we check urbandictionary.com for it? NOOOO!!! Wait. YESSSS!
A cow as defined by the urbandictionary.com is:
“Someone who blocks the aisles in a grocery store with their massive girth.”
“The word ‘cow’ is also a moderately offensive insult in the United Kingdom towards a woman who is supremely unpleasant.”
HAHAHAHA!
And while the madness is going on…like forever, I took the opportunity to check up the following as well.
Some idiot going by the nickname of XXX has been a really fun target for amusement lately. (A cause of heartache in the past but that was over…I don’t like remembering sad stuff anyway.) So what exactly is the XXX?
“A control freak. A rather nasty, manipulative, self appointed queen for all events relating to anything in her limited, but tightly-reigned little world.”
“Another word for Vagina or Pussy”
“A Female To own One’s heart”
And just for additional fun, the real first name of the said XXX reveals the following from urbandictionary.com:
“1) Intellectually attractive woman.
2) Physically attractive woman.
3) Emotonally attractive woman.
4) Attractivve in all 3 major ways, yet not you are condemned to be ‘just friends‘”
“A sweet girl with a lot of heart.”
“Fellatio. To preform an orally sexual acts”
“A slang name for cannabis, originating in the South-East of England”
“Alternative word for female genitailia.”
“A woman’s private parts.”
There are more definitions to each word looked up but I only selected the ones which really stood out. Just to be really nasty and fun…notice that the nick of XXX and the real first name is really suitable? Well, definitely not intellectually attractive as the said person could not even spell properly and has no general knowledge to say of. I’d give some plus points for being physically attractive but that’d depends if you are looking at just street level attractiveness or something like a classy kind of attractiveness cos that person has no class at all. I should think emotionally attractive for that person is good cos managed to keep me well entertained. Ah well, the common integral between the nick and first name is heart and pussy. So suitable! (said person by the way is a cow queen too!)
So what is yours?
p/s- I tried on my brother’s name and this turns up:
“A boy who isn’t responsible and goes around sleeping with every girl possible. Usually goes with White chicks and then leaves for others. Been to jail once or twice and is VERY stubborn.”
VERY TRUE! (about the jail + VERY stubborn part – I’m not sure about the white chicks though…probably…)
p/s: p/s: – I tried on an old first name which I used to go by and got a nice result too! Try Nicole!~ LOL
Posted by the writer on Feb 2, 2010 in
general I dreamt of the sea becoming the skies and the next day, the Haiti earthquake happened.
Just over the weekend, I fainted while doing spring cleaning and dreamt of an earthquake. And the next day, we had the China and Indonesia earthquakes.
Let’s not talk about the signs which I saw/felt in previous years.
But this huge ominous feeling that there is going to be another disasterous event on an epic scale is hanging so heavily that sometimes, I find my heartbeat missing.
They say it takes a pure heart to understand the language of nature. I wish I can better understand what nature is telling me.
I need a purer heart…haha!
Posted by the writer on Jan 27, 2010 in
general Waiting is the most most most difficult-est of all!
How much time do we spend on waiting everyday?
Waiting for a transport (buses are the worst, trains next, cabs, even if you drive, you have to wait for your engine to be ‘ready’!) to get you to your destination.
Waiting for food to be prepared (cooking or take-outs).
Waiting for elevators (unless you have acrophobia and work/live no where higher than ten floors up).
Waiting for school/work day to end.
Waiting for allowance/pay day.
Waiting for someone to call.
Waiting for someone to say I love you.
Waiting for results.
Waiting for promotion.
Waiting for a sale.
Waiting for an occasion.
Waiting for Steve Job’s latest iFrenzy. (oh my oh my…i’m so iGeared up!)
Waiting for the Martell TUSS to confirm my participation!
ARGH!~
I so wanna win it cos:
1. The shop is rental free for 6 months! 
2. The Insead programme. Not that I can’t afford it but it’s completely different when it is sponsored. Hehe.
3. The award.
Finally, today I understood why some scholars would die for their scholarship when they can perfectly afford the cost of it many times over. I couldn’t understand it back then (which was why I gave up my scholarship hoping that someone who REALLY needed it would benefit from it – but I seriously doubt so…).
Ah…the bitter-sweetness of waiting.
What if I don’t win leh?
:S *hides*
Continue with my life lah…it is still a sweet interlude…
Posted by the writer on Jan 25, 2010 in
writing A friend commented the other day that he has been on the receiving end of repeated calls asking for a certain Ah Seng.
A simple name. A simple incident. A simple story develops in my mind.
It is amazing how the commonest stuff can give sparks to the story board.
Well, I’m thinking of a short story revolving around this.
Characters:
1. The caller – an elderly woman
2. The answerer – a high flier
3. The invisible Ah Seng
That’s all that is needed. 
Posted by the writer on Jan 25, 2010 in
general Sometimes I wish I have the liberty to be like so many other people and take pictures of the food I eat…the places I visit…the countries I travel to…the friends I am with. Somehow, the saying ‘birds of the same feather flock together’ holds true as most of my groups of friends value privacy more than anything else.
Sometimes I wonder about the value of privacy and sometimes I wonder about the value of exposing it all.
When we are out dining somewhere interesting…as in really interesting…and I really want to take a snap of the place…the dish that’s being served…but somehow…with the kind of glances glares thrown in my way…all I could do is slip the camera back to its case.
This has resulted in my phone functioning as a spy cam…taking pictures on the sly…and the quality is super lousy as expected…with really weird angles to add.
To be honest, I want to take photos not because I want to showcase them on blogs or Facebook…but because it’d be good to keep a scrapbook kind of memory box…yes, I love scrapbooking but it’s a ridiculously expensive hobby to keep here. And oh, for the lack of photos.
Posted by the writer on Jan 22, 2010 in
heart I have a bad habit of skipping town whenever I’m upset.
I once took a cab to get across the causeway and checked into a hotel, with just the clothes I was wearing, the passport, my wallet, a cellphone and a very miserable heart.
It was most painful because of the miserable heart. I went there because I was looking for him. And I thought I remembered where he was. At 5.15am the next morning, I took a cab to the town he supposedly was at. It was the right town, I remembered all the landmarks or so I thought. At 6am, I was at the petrol station which I thought was nearby his house. At 605am, my cellphone’s battery died on me. I was completely lost at the petrol station with the highway in front of me and rows of almost countless houses behind. In one of those houses was the person I was looking for. I felt very tired. I wasn’t scared for myself but for the lost of this opportunity to see him again. I wanted to see him so badly.
Till now, I remember with excruciating clarity the feel of the morning air when my cellphone’s battery went died. The silence of the morning broken only by passing cars. The breaking of dawn. It felt both light and heavy at the same time. A glimmer of hope and yet darkness envelopes. The first time I felt a sense of lost.
And then a car drove up. Someone got out of the car. Someone familiar. One of Yikor’s men. They sent me back to the hotel where Yikor was waiting in the room next to the one I had left earlier that morning. He had known all along that I would attempt to look for that person. And for the first time in my life, he shouted and ranted and was like a mad man for all of almost an hour about the danger I was in and the amount of worry I had created. At that time, I couldn’t care less. All I thought about was how I had failed to find him. And all I ever wanted to do was to go off again to find him. I was angry with Yikor, extremely upset and tired, and so I shouted back and threw things at him as well.
I can still remember the look on Yikor’s face. I saw the tears he didn’t shed. Yet, I continued to behave like the spoilt brat that I was.
That person meant more to me than life itself. Yikor took years to finally accept this as a fact. He had thought it’d meant no more than a passing fancy to me but it was not. I told Yikor, I’d give my life to protect this person. I’d give up everything for him. I’d even give up Yikor…just for him.
If you never knew the meaning of pain, the pain of the heart, you never knew love. When two in love are separated by a situation beyond their control…that kind of pain…the real pain of the heart. That one true love. (刻苦铭心的相愛) But how do you know? You know because your heart knows it. And your heart can no longer accept another’s promise of happiness even when you say or think you can. That one true love.
The little breeze caresses your face, you breathe in deeply, let out a deep sigh, hoping that the emptiness will just go away but it remains an aching pain in your heart. And for many years after that, you still feel the emptiness weighing heavily, painfully in your heart though you may say that you have found happiness with someone else…”
That happiness is never complete without your one true love.
Posted by the writer on Jan 21, 2010 in
serious stuff Well, as can be seen, I don’t blog about serious stuff at all. But this time, something happened (Desperate Call for Help: Loanshark…) which is of particular interest to me. Besides the fact that it happened to someone who I know on a personal basis, this topic about loansharking has been a little research topic for a little period of time too. Actually, not a little period of time…I’ve been advocating for years for borrowers of illegitimate loans to be punished under the criminal act for the longest time ever (like…more than 12 years in the making already!).
Sadly, parliament did not share the same viewpoint and thus they decided to (for the time being) not pursue the borrowers but instead place the focus on the loansharks. I’ve written about this, in a very satire manner, on Facebook but it’d be unwise to post that out so openly here.
First and foremost, let me clarify something. I am not against the loansharks trying to make a living by lending out money. I am also not against those who need a temporary loan and had no other avenues to turn to but the loansharks. To me, both are just coinciding factors in the demand and supply chain.
What I am against is the lack of responsibility on the part of the borrowers to avoid paying back the loan; the lack of morals of the borrowers who went back against their promise and hit the very hands which helped them in times of needs; the particular reasons such as gambling/drug addictions which pushed the borrowers towards the loansharks. Thus, with the above, I feel borrowers of illegitimate loans ought to suffer the same punishment as the lender.
What I am also against are the methods the loansharks use in their attempts to recover their ‘bad debts’; such as vandalism, gluing of locks, placing of additional locks, arson and other means to intimidate NOT the borrowers but the families/neighbours of the latter.
The government felt, not in the exact words, that by outlawing the borrowers, it’d give more leeway to the loansharks and their activities. Does it? Will it?
By sheltering the borrowers, it creates a false ’safe haven’ for them. It gives them the illusion that they need not take responsibility for their action; for the money they had taken; for the moral agreement they had entered. And thus, even those who had no real need for the money would be tempted to borrow from the loansharks for it’d be as good as a free lunch, abet one that would follow with some inconvenience.
And, when borrowers default on their repayments, it’d push the loansharks to take more extreme measures to recover their losses. It’d also push the loansharks towards the use of violence; towards the commitment of more crimes.
Overall, it creates more social unrest instead of solving the problem outright.
But how will persecuting the borrowers solve the problem of illegitimate loans? It will, in the long run.
When there is no where for the borrowers to seek help from, they will think not just once or twice but many times before they commit to getting a loan from an illegitimate source. They will be forced to understand the moral agreement they have entered into; the fact that they themselves have committed to something very serious and that no one, absolutely no one can help them out. This will eliminate the number of borrowers and thus force the loansharks out of business, or the loansharks will have to soften their methods, lower their interest in order to ‘attract’ their potential clients. Simple market adjustments!
And when borrowers do not default on loans, the loansharks would have no reason to commit those acts of arson, terrifying others etc. And of course, should they persist in using such methods, then they should be dealt with according to the law with stiffer penalties.
Just like we cannot default on our mortgage or bank loans, borrowers of illegitimate loans should not be made to feel that they are ‘entitled’ to get away with such and that the state will ‘protect’ them from harm. This is an unnecessary burden on taxpayers.
The most important thing is, we should delve into the reasons why such borrowers are being forced to take illegitimate loans. With every reported case of loansharking, there are more unreported cases. This is a clear indication of a lapse in our social safety net. What has happened to these people that they had no one, no where to turn to except the loansharks? If it is a genuine case of need, such as medical bills, daily expenses, school fees etc, why are these people in such a pathetic state? Why have they no helplines to turn to? Is it because of a lack of awareness? Or that the social safety net has completely failed?
And if it was not a genuine case of need, such as gambling or drug addiction habits. What made them turn to gambling or drugs? And what has been done on a national level to reach out to these people? What more should and can be done?
There are legalised moneylenders. So should the criteria to borrow money from them be softened so as to accommodate the needs of more people? Or should we examine why are there so many people in need of money for even basic needs?
A loansharking problem is not simply a problem between the borrower and the loanshark. It is not simply a criminal act but a reflection of the state of social illness. Something is very wrong and the root of the problem goes way beyond that of just the borrower and the loanshark.
Oh, let’s not go into the level of responsiveness of the police. Or the efficiency level. It’d complicate matters even further.
Posted by the writer on Jan 14, 2010 in
heart yikor, i dreamt of you yesterday. and it was only this morning, after i woke up from the dream, that i realised how much i miss you actually. in the past, i hate it whenever i hear people say that i am nothing without my brother. now i wish, i rather be nothing and have you by my side…
why do the really important people in my life have this irritating habit of disappearing from me?
they disappeared when i was barely a month old…you disappeared before my twenty first birthday…they reappeared…he disappeared after my twenty first birthday…you reappeared…he reappeared…i made myself disappeared…i reappeared…and you had to disappear…and along the way…fangs disappeared…reappeared…disappeared…i lost count of that…
i can’t find the words to describe how i feel now. the happiness of finding myself…of finding him…and then the scariness of losing you…the possibility that this may be forever…
if the only way to see you again is in the dreams, then i wish i’ll never wake…